This is not one of my blogs when I have again come up with an imaginary story or a situation, never ever to be found in life. But today, I am simply so confused and am feeling so claustrophobic, that blogging seems my only way out.
Right from my childhood, I have always been known as a timetable person.. Its a term, my friends from engg gave me for my immense planning techniques... I always believed in planning my life even my day, the previous day and never let anything affect it whatsoever. Planner, control freak, these weren't simply adjectives to describe me but seemed synonymous to my name. I am used to planning to such an extent, that I have contingency plans too... As in, if my plan for the day ever failed due to some reason, I always had a Plan B. My roomie used to joke saying even my dreams would be planned... :)
Although my habits were always a matter of joke to people, I always stuck by them and it paid off well.. I had a good time at work, because of my planning methods. My colleagues and superiors were always in awe that even in stringent work time lines, my work never sagged behind.. I don't remember, leaving my office ever late And every evening I spent extra timing, writing out my Task list for the next day...
And then one fine day, my life simply went haywire, when a plan of mine backfired, suddenly new plans came rushing in... Within an year, all that I had planned went completely messed and m at my wits end, handling the situation now.
Although my routine has got set, life seems to take no proper direction.. I have absolutely no idea what I want from life... All my short time goals seems achieved and I have no long term goal at all... I have this void feeling in my heart which freaks me... Nothing seems to make me happy, yet there is this big 1000 Watt smile on my face... Everywhere I go, I feel people are mocking at me... I have big time lost my self confidence... Things which I felt are good in me seem like a hype now. I am a stranger to my own self now. I am desperately bored and am wasting time like hell... Too many options in front of me and nothing seems to appeal.
Life is so unpredictable... Waiting for my ray of hope which will redefine my life...
Till then Lost in space....
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, November 28, 2008
When Hell descended on Earth
It has been 48 hours since people have been glued to their television sets all across India watching every move of the biggest horror unfolding in front of our eyes. Never has Mumbai been pulled down so badly, but here what we see is cold blooded devils simply massacring innocent lives for some really stupid goal, possibly a jargon that they themselves don't understand. It is time someone put some sense into these egghead's brains, that they cant achieve heaven by breaking hell loose on earth. WE agree that we belong to a city which never sleeps, but hello!! We do have a heart and it hurts, seeing our top cops dying away like that, seeing our fellow brothers and sisters falling prey to a mass murder, seeing our heritage buildings burning away and all for satisfying someones stupid mission. Mumbaikars have been very resilient all through, yes we do have an undying spirit of coming back with the same spirit again & again no matter how much we are hit, but this time, we have lost a lot. The spirit needs to turn into anger, a revolution has to come about, how long are we simply going to light candles in remembrance of people who have laid down their lives. It is about time, we came over mere political issues and have the guts to take terrorism to its ultimate end.
This is the same feeling that people felt in USA after the September 11 blasts. Whether Mumbai, New York or some other city in the world, people are losing their sense of security, we no longer feel safe in our own homes. You never know when a celebration dinner could actually turn into a big mourning for the family. This time, the impact is very high and it has hit big time. Earlier, after the blasts in the train or the buses, people in mumbai still continued to travel by these the next day on... Life didn't halt. In fact I was one of them, travelling by the same local the next day. But this time, things are different. Even the smallest sounds are creating panic among people. For a city which is famous for its bindaas attitude, a petty tyre burst can make us duck with fear. That is the scene now. A city where we used to comment that we don't even have time to breathe, it is about time, we all stand up and tell our politicians to shut up and watch the show. It is time, the culprits are really removed from their burrows and put to death.
In hindsight, think about the parents, of these terrorists, what pain they would they be undergoing; Watching their kids choose death over life. What is it which woos these young men to choose death, what makes them deaf to the cries of pain and pleas and still press the trigger. A particular video tape was telecast today, showing two of the terrorists smiling at each other and killing innocent people recklessly. How do these people face their conscience or do they actually have one.
Tears stream my eyes as I think about all those brave men, who laid their lives for the sake of this city, fighting and protecting us. They died so we could live. In this moment of despair, it is their spirit and bravery that keeps us going. Mumbaikars are more angry with the death of our bravehearts than the terrorism act. If only this could all come to an end, if only humans start behaving like one...
This is the same feeling that people felt in USA after the September 11 blasts. Whether Mumbai, New York or some other city in the world, people are losing their sense of security, we no longer feel safe in our own homes. You never know when a celebration dinner could actually turn into a big mourning for the family. This time, the impact is very high and it has hit big time. Earlier, after the blasts in the train or the buses, people in mumbai still continued to travel by these the next day on... Life didn't halt. In fact I was one of them, travelling by the same local the next day. But this time, things are different. Even the smallest sounds are creating panic among people. For a city which is famous for its bindaas attitude, a petty tyre burst can make us duck with fear. That is the scene now. A city where we used to comment that we don't even have time to breathe, it is about time, we all stand up and tell our politicians to shut up and watch the show. It is time, the culprits are really removed from their burrows and put to death.
In hindsight, think about the parents, of these terrorists, what pain they would they be undergoing; Watching their kids choose death over life. What is it which woos these young men to choose death, what makes them deaf to the cries of pain and pleas and still press the trigger. A particular video tape was telecast today, showing two of the terrorists smiling at each other and killing innocent people recklessly. How do these people face their conscience or do they actually have one.
Tears stream my eyes as I think about all those brave men, who laid their lives for the sake of this city, fighting and protecting us. They died so we could live. In this moment of despair, it is their spirit and bravery that keeps us going. Mumbaikars are more angry with the death of our bravehearts than the terrorism act. If only this could all come to an end, if only humans start behaving like one...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Choti si Aasha
Dream is an inevitable part of God's creation.. According to me (this has no proof, so believe at your own risk :) ) every living organism on earth dreams. Right from the butterfly or ant to the best of God's creations. Sometimes these dreams come true and we end up having a melodramatic scene from one of Bollywood's movies with a caption "And they happily lived ever after"... Or we end up destroying up our dreams, and having a sleepless nights, a dustbin full of tissues, a hoarse voice and a punch line that " Life is so unfair"... But besides this, whenever we get time ( yet we crib 24 hours, is too less ) we have this absolutely wonderful thingie called "Wish"... I don't know what technically is the definition of this, but lemme give you the *Nandini* version of it... Wish is a delightful thought, which is seen in a conscious state of mind (As in eyes Wide Open), which may be triggered by your neighbour having it or anything which you want to have but immediately cannot possess....
For example, on a chilly rainy day, you stand in your balcony, the wind comes and plays with your hair, you remember your favourite song and start humming, and all you want is a hot plate of Pakodas and a cup of hot Adrak wali chai.... But nah, I m too lazy to walk up to the kitchen and make them... So all we end up doing, is "Kaash .... ".... Ek choti si aasha....
You are in your college and this guy whom you always liked had a die hard crush on, today walks in to the room, wearing a colour you think looks damn good on him, he walks straight waves a hand to you but you are so busy staring at him.... He shrugs his shoulder and walks smilingly to his girlfriend and is his squeaky voice says "Hey sweety, What is Up.. and shows his stained teeth.." My dil goes " Kya aap close up karte haain.???"
Wish somebody teaches him to shut his mouth for ever... Kaash.....
Hey the example above, is a really fictional one, raised only for the purpose of teasing my brain... Any resemblance to real life is simply co-incidental...
And beware if u read this and call my husband.... :):):):)
I decided today to write down all my choti choti aasha and make it a point to fulfill each one of them.... Its a promise I made to myself, so here we go....
1. Go to a hill station, climb to the highest peak and scream " I still love Pokemon"....
2. Surround myself with a heap of books and be hidden and keep reading them day and night... Special condition:- No one around to ping me to have food...
3. On a rainy day have a hot plate of pakodas and adrak wali chai... (Everything wasn't fictional BTW)... :)
4. Climb a tree... I have done this a lot as a kid... We had a chikko tree in our backyard & I used to climb and sit on its branch and read a book...
5. To have a huge swing in my house and to be able to swing all day long...
6. To eat Pizza everyday....
7. To go on adventures & picnics, frequently... The last time I had a real big adventure was when I was in Engineering.... Well, it was a real funny incident... It was somewhere around July, when Varun devata was too prasanna on Maharashtra & we had a real heavy rain... It was about 11:00 in the night, when a friend pinged me saying he was coming to pick up some files from me... Lets call him X... When he came, three of us, X, me and another friend (Y) were chatting along, when X said casually.. "Did u know that the bridge near Dapodi is completely blocked, there is a knee length water on the bridge... " My eyes lit up, and my friends said "Uh- OH, we are dead now"... So Y who knew driving (God bless her), called up her brother, took the car keys. X, I and Y went to the bridge which is about a 20 min drive from our place, it was about 12:45 in the night... Y and I were enjoying the drive, while X kept hysterically mumbling, "Did u know I don't even have siblings, what will my parents do if something happens to me"... We ignored him & drove on... The bridge was in a real bad shape... But it was fun, driving on a rainy night... When we came back home, X had almost slept off..... y stayed back at my place, we had hot coffee, and watched my favorite movie "Kuch kuch hota hai"....
8. To have Chips everyday....
I don't remember any more decent wishes... But will update soon....
But there are some really masti and naughty wishes I wanna do...
1.Laugh like Gabbar singh, in front of my grandmas cousins and watch her face get bewildered with embarassment...
2. To sing "Dil mein Baji guitar" when I am asked to sing in front of the whole family (all relatives, my Star Parivaar)...
3. To hide my mom's favourite Saree & watch her search it all around..
4. To scream loudly at the pitch of my voice & not have any one scold me for it...
5. To play "Metallica" and watch Santosh's reaction.... :)
Its time I stop, before people term me mentally disturbed... Watch out people.... :)
Till then, chao....
For example, on a chilly rainy day, you stand in your balcony, the wind comes and plays with your hair, you remember your favourite song and start humming, and all you want is a hot plate of Pakodas and a cup of hot Adrak wali chai.... But nah, I m too lazy to walk up to the kitchen and make them... So all we end up doing, is "Kaash .... ".... Ek choti si aasha....
You are in your college and this guy whom you always liked had a die hard crush on, today walks in to the room, wearing a colour you think looks damn good on him, he walks straight waves a hand to you but you are so busy staring at him.... He shrugs his shoulder and walks smilingly to his girlfriend and is his squeaky voice says "Hey sweety, What is Up.. and shows his stained teeth.." My dil goes " Kya aap close up karte haain.???"
Wish somebody teaches him to shut his mouth for ever... Kaash.....
Hey the example above, is a really fictional one, raised only for the purpose of teasing my brain... Any resemblance to real life is simply co-incidental...
And beware if u read this and call my husband.... :):):):)
I decided today to write down all my choti choti aasha and make it a point to fulfill each one of them.... Its a promise I made to myself, so here we go....
1. Go to a hill station, climb to the highest peak and scream " I still love Pokemon"....
2. Surround myself with a heap of books and be hidden and keep reading them day and night... Special condition:- No one around to ping me to have food...
3. On a rainy day have a hot plate of pakodas and adrak wali chai... (Everything wasn't fictional BTW)... :)
4. Climb a tree... I have done this a lot as a kid... We had a chikko tree in our backyard & I used to climb and sit on its branch and read a book...
5. To have a huge swing in my house and to be able to swing all day long...
6. To eat Pizza everyday....
7. To go on adventures & picnics, frequently... The last time I had a real big adventure was when I was in Engineering.... Well, it was a real funny incident... It was somewhere around July, when Varun devata was too prasanna on Maharashtra & we had a real heavy rain... It was about 11:00 in the night, when a friend pinged me saying he was coming to pick up some files from me... Lets call him X... When he came, three of us, X, me and another friend (Y) were chatting along, when X said casually.. "Did u know that the bridge near Dapodi is completely blocked, there is a knee length water on the bridge... " My eyes lit up, and my friends said "Uh- OH, we are dead now"... So Y who knew driving (God bless her), called up her brother, took the car keys. X, I and Y went to the bridge which is about a 20 min drive from our place, it was about 12:45 in the night... Y and I were enjoying the drive, while X kept hysterically mumbling, "Did u know I don't even have siblings, what will my parents do if something happens to me"... We ignored him & drove on... The bridge was in a real bad shape... But it was fun, driving on a rainy night... When we came back home, X had almost slept off..... y stayed back at my place, we had hot coffee, and watched my favorite movie "Kuch kuch hota hai"....
8. To have Chips everyday....
I don't remember any more decent wishes... But will update soon....
But there are some really masti and naughty wishes I wanna do...
1.Laugh like Gabbar singh, in front of my grandmas cousins and watch her face get bewildered with embarassment...
2. To sing "Dil mein Baji guitar" when I am asked to sing in front of the whole family (all relatives, my Star Parivaar)...
3. To hide my mom's favourite Saree & watch her search it all around..
4. To scream loudly at the pitch of my voice & not have any one scold me for it...
5. To play "Metallica" and watch Santosh's reaction.... :)
Its time I stop, before people term me mentally disturbed... Watch out people.... :)
Till then, chao....
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Changing Directions
I was watching some documentary on Discovery about different kinds of butterflies, and I realized how similar every creation of God is. A caterpillar sheds its cocoon to become a beautiful butterfly… Its appearance, habitat, behavior everything changes. No one can every believe that it is this ugly caterpillar which has transformed into a new butterfly.
Same is the case with Life. Different situations in life, force man to change. After all, it is very rightly said that the only thing that is constant is Change.
My new quest of life, is also about one such major change that has come into my life. A change which has now turned my life completely by 180 degrees. A new life, a new surrounding, new people. But do goals change when your life undergoes a change. I am not talking about the short milestones but our ultimate goal. And if they aren’t changing then why do people accept changes.. No doubt the path changes, but are these diversions necessary.
This is an answer no one can ever give, coz, by the time, u realize the answer to this question, u have reached your ultimate destination. It is this quest of life, that has driven me to create a new blog.
A new day has come……..
Same is the case with Life. Different situations in life, force man to change. After all, it is very rightly said that the only thing that is constant is Change.
My new quest of life, is also about one such major change that has come into my life. A change which has now turned my life completely by 180 degrees. A new life, a new surrounding, new people. But do goals change when your life undergoes a change. I am not talking about the short milestones but our ultimate goal. And if they aren’t changing then why do people accept changes.. No doubt the path changes, but are these diversions necessary.
This is an answer no one can ever give, coz, by the time, u realize the answer to this question, u have reached your ultimate destination. It is this quest of life, that has driven me to create a new blog.
A new day has come……..
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