Cancerians, are a peculiar species in the human race. We never let people come near us, we are secretive, moody and suspicious. But when someone touches our heart, and passes through the grand gates and makes their place in our lives, we make sure that they never leave. By nature, we are crabby, we never let go of our friends. And when they do it tears us apart from inside.
I had sworn, that I will keep my work life away from my personal life. No friendships here, was my principle when I joined my new job. Experiences of the past had nevertheless, made me strong enough to be like this. After all, I had a pathetic time, leaving my previous work place. But nah, its me and if I make rules, they have to be broken, within a month of joining here, I had a frivolous gang, complete with fun, laughter and madness. With them, I never realized how time, passed by, it is 6 months now and life is still so fresh. We all looked forward to coming to work everyday, meet each other at breakfast, so that we could laugh away to glory. Laughing was like a religion here!!
But now time to part has come, time when we all disperse into new worlds. The most difficult moment, ever faced by a cancerian is to say “Good bye”.. And in all these years, I have never perfected this art. I can never say “Good bye”!! It is too difficult for me. I would rather not be there on their last day at work, than watch them walking out of that gate and waving at me. If life gives me a chance, then I would never let anyone walk away. If only I could turn the wheels of time again!!
Dear friend, if you are reading this, then all I want to say is you have changed my life in so many ways, and that I would never want us to part ever. But as they say, Time and Tide waits for none. So as you walk out of this door into a world of oppurtunities, know that, I would never wave good bye to you ever. I would just say “Till we meet again”!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
A pinch of innocence
Since childhood, every essay we wrote on India, had one line for sure, “India is a land of villages”. I often used to wonder what it would be like to live in a village, away from the concrete jungle, not worried about the 8:06 local, not bothered about the crowds, a world where Gucci and Reebok would sound as alien as Saturn’s rings. What is it, that these people possess, that keeps them happy even in a life of hardships. Life had a turn waiting for me, while I travelled from Pune to Solapur in a bus recently.
It was an extremely hot afternoon, and as the temperature soared higher, there was mercury rising in people’s hearts too, after all, because of a silly mistake of mine, we were travelling by a non-AC bus on a hot afternoon after missing a comfortable, posh AC train. :P After glaring at me for a long time, my friend slept off, and as I waited for my guilt pangs to surpass, I kept staring out of the window. We passed through several barren lands, withered away shrubs, in the extreme heat, nothing scenic to watch, but still better than the rattle on the TV being shown. I was just thinking about how the heat was affecting this part of the city, when I saw a beautiful banyan tree and children playing swing on its branches, there was a small stream of water flowing nearby, and even in the hot sun, I could feel its chilled gurgle. I smiled at the thought of playing with these kids, it was then that I remembered a line again from school , which I would never forget, “Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest”.
Life doesn’t stop smiling or gifting you with its treasures if a certain amount of leisure is stolen away and it is a lesson I learnt on a hot Monday afternoon! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a washing machine to wash your pile load, but you do get the pleasure of playing with your friends in the water as you wash. It doesn’t matter if you cant watch the latest movie on your television, as long as you get to spend evenings swinging and laughing with your friends. They don’t care about a dinner at a five star hotel, trying low calorie dessert, the meal which is shared with your loved ones, no matter how meagre, is the tastiest.
Life doesn’t stop with hardships, if it steals a handful of happiness then it returns the same amount in another form, I was jealous of those villagers. Even in their life of hardships, their smile was genuine, the happiness in their laugh was evident, and when they hugged their loved ones, it was genuine. We have grudges in our hearts, envy in our relationships and trust is a emotion unknown!!
If only we had more time to analyse life and sort it in a simpler way, if only in our recipe of life, there was a pinch of innocence!!
It was an extremely hot afternoon, and as the temperature soared higher, there was mercury rising in people’s hearts too, after all, because of a silly mistake of mine, we were travelling by a non-AC bus on a hot afternoon after missing a comfortable, posh AC train. :P After glaring at me for a long time, my friend slept off, and as I waited for my guilt pangs to surpass, I kept staring out of the window. We passed through several barren lands, withered away shrubs, in the extreme heat, nothing scenic to watch, but still better than the rattle on the TV being shown. I was just thinking about how the heat was affecting this part of the city, when I saw a beautiful banyan tree and children playing swing on its branches, there was a small stream of water flowing nearby, and even in the hot sun, I could feel its chilled gurgle. I smiled at the thought of playing with these kids, it was then that I remembered a line again from school , which I would never forget, “Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest”.
Life doesn’t stop smiling or gifting you with its treasures if a certain amount of leisure is stolen away and it is a lesson I learnt on a hot Monday afternoon! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a washing machine to wash your pile load, but you do get the pleasure of playing with your friends in the water as you wash. It doesn’t matter if you cant watch the latest movie on your television, as long as you get to spend evenings swinging and laughing with your friends. They don’t care about a dinner at a five star hotel, trying low calorie dessert, the meal which is shared with your loved ones, no matter how meagre, is the tastiest.
Life doesn’t stop with hardships, if it steals a handful of happiness then it returns the same amount in another form, I was jealous of those villagers. Even in their life of hardships, their smile was genuine, the happiness in their laugh was evident, and when they hugged their loved ones, it was genuine. We have grudges in our hearts, envy in our relationships and trust is a emotion unknown!!
If only we had more time to analyse life and sort it in a simpler way, if only in our recipe of life, there was a pinch of innocence!!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Blinding Joy
Love struck me once, and I went blind
They say it hits hard, when it does, the earth beneath your feet slips away,
I had grown up listening to this, I would dream of the moment,
When love would come and blast my way,
Years I had waited for my true love to come,
A moment I waited to rejoice and bloom,
And then it came, like the sun setting down the ocean,
As if the entire waters, were covered with a golden potion,
He was smart, yet different, than the others of his kind,
He came, he conquered and won away my mind,
I blushed when I saw him for the first time,
Prayed away “Oh Lord! Please let him be mine”
And the Lord smiled and said “My child”
May not thy, love blow away like the wind; behold,
But blind I was and wanted to turn deaf,
In the colour of my new love wanted to say “Lord you are rough”
He made me dance, to the breezy winds,
Spread my colour and my fragrance around,
All at once, he left one day,
With a promise to come back, just like a fay
Days passed away like years,
Seasons changed then changed near and dears,
I had lost my heart to him,
Now there was absolutely no whim,
Life was just a menace, awaiting death furlong,
I held my loved ones and bid goodbye, so long,
He took away not just my nectar but my essence of life,
Oh, all I wanted to be was his dearest wife!!
Then I heard the voice, to whom I turned deaf,
He came and comforted said now now, don’t be so tough,
You are but a flower who blooms so beautiful,
And he a bumbling bee, fickle and temptous,
Life is agame of nectar and poison,
Have a balance, don’t try and find the reason
I am with you my child as you fade away,
But don’t let your love so easily blown away.
As I lay down and closed my eyes,
The sun bowed down and soothing as ice,
Tears trickled down, my eyes,
Alas! I could have still been wise!
They say it hits hard, when it does, the earth beneath your feet slips away,
I had grown up listening to this, I would dream of the moment,
When love would come and blast my way,
Years I had waited for my true love to come,
A moment I waited to rejoice and bloom,
And then it came, like the sun setting down the ocean,
As if the entire waters, were covered with a golden potion,
He was smart, yet different, than the others of his kind,
He came, he conquered and won away my mind,
I blushed when I saw him for the first time,
Prayed away “Oh Lord! Please let him be mine”
And the Lord smiled and said “My child”
May not thy, love blow away like the wind; behold,
But blind I was and wanted to turn deaf,
In the colour of my new love wanted to say “Lord you are rough”
He made me dance, to the breezy winds,
Spread my colour and my fragrance around,
All at once, he left one day,
With a promise to come back, just like a fay
Days passed away like years,
Seasons changed then changed near and dears,
I had lost my heart to him,
Now there was absolutely no whim,
Life was just a menace, awaiting death furlong,
I held my loved ones and bid goodbye, so long,
He took away not just my nectar but my essence of life,
Oh, all I wanted to be was his dearest wife!!
Then I heard the voice, to whom I turned deaf,
He came and comforted said now now, don’t be so tough,
You are but a flower who blooms so beautiful,
And he a bumbling bee, fickle and temptous,
Life is agame of nectar and poison,
Have a balance, don’t try and find the reason
I am with you my child as you fade away,
But don’t let your love so easily blown away.
As I lay down and closed my eyes,
The sun bowed down and soothing as ice,
Tears trickled down, my eyes,
Alas! I could have still been wise!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Alt+F4
This is the longest tenure of my life, where I haven’t penned anything so long, have just read 4 books in 6 months! Sigh! Life and its compulsions, kills all chances of leading a normal human life.
These 6 months and the past 2 days have taught me quite a good lesson, that life once on a acceleration mode, doesn’t take a back seat ever. In this race to live, we end up losing a lot than just a good mileage power!!
These 6 months, owing to work pressure I completely convinced myself that, hobbies and passions do not necessarily relax a person, it is just a technique of keeping your mind occupied or to put it in Bollywood ishtyle “All izz well”. But now as the weariness and tiredness sets in, a huge lethargic wave seems to be groping my mind. I can’t think & talk of anything but work. With this rate, I would soon replace the system I work on.. :)
My friends have a hand in this transition from machine to human, after all, they were the ones who pushed me hard to write something and keep penning my thoughts. While I say that, a huge thanks to my darling cousin, who introduced me to this wonderful world of blogging. A push in the right direction, sometimes sets us back on the right track, and I am lucky, I have had a lot of people to show me the right path so many times.
When I hang on to something, it is hard for me to unhook myself and let my thoughts flow in a different direction, and now that I know the side effects, it is about time to reprogram a few prejudices.. So while I take a whiff of my new found freedom and take a long breath in fresh air, may the PC back at my desk, finally sigh a relief “Hush! Alt+F4 at last” :):)
These 6 months and the past 2 days have taught me quite a good lesson, that life once on a acceleration mode, doesn’t take a back seat ever. In this race to live, we end up losing a lot than just a good mileage power!!
These 6 months, owing to work pressure I completely convinced myself that, hobbies and passions do not necessarily relax a person, it is just a technique of keeping your mind occupied or to put it in Bollywood ishtyle “All izz well”. But now as the weariness and tiredness sets in, a huge lethargic wave seems to be groping my mind. I can’t think & talk of anything but work. With this rate, I would soon replace the system I work on.. :)
My friends have a hand in this transition from machine to human, after all, they were the ones who pushed me hard to write something and keep penning my thoughts. While I say that, a huge thanks to my darling cousin, who introduced me to this wonderful world of blogging. A push in the right direction, sometimes sets us back on the right track, and I am lucky, I have had a lot of people to show me the right path so many times.
When I hang on to something, it is hard for me to unhook myself and let my thoughts flow in a different direction, and now that I know the side effects, it is about time to reprogram a few prejudices.. So while I take a whiff of my new found freedom and take a long breath in fresh air, may the PC back at my desk, finally sigh a relief “Hush! Alt+F4 at last” :):)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
To be or not to be
I m hitting the blog scene after such a long time, feels like coming home after a long tour!! I was just looking at some of my old college albums last week & it felt as another life.... I was a strong advocate of the fact, that changes in life do not distance one's loved ones.. But somehow, changes in mine, came like a tornado and swept me off my feet (in a good way ofcourse)! Sometimes, we walk so fast in life, that we forget the people around us and when we look back, they are there waiting at the same place for us. It is we, who in our quest to go ahead, forget to look around. I am "old school of thoughts" girl!! For me, changes are very difficult to adapt. From my bed linen to my office circle, familiarity is my key word. I feel very uncomfortable trying new things. It takes a lot of self persuasion to even try reading a book of an unknown author. I like to live in a shell, my own comfortable, warm and familiar cocoon. And that is one of the reasons, that changes in my life unnerved me a lot.
Yesterday, finally I took a step to bring in the flavor of my old life in this changed haven. I met my friends from college, people from whom I walked away due to some differences in opinion. And guess what, after a long time, I had such a wonderful time. The long chats, the fun and frolic, the comments, the fun punches... Man, I never realized what I had missed. I always tend to run away from confrontations. When I make a mistake & I realize I have hurt a loved one, I prefer staying away from them so as to not hurt them anymore than try and confront the situation head-on. Maybe I lose a lot out in this process of not hurting; I end up damaging much more than emotions....
So here's a new day, with a new change!! Cheers!
Yesterday, finally I took a step to bring in the flavor of my old life in this changed haven. I met my friends from college, people from whom I walked away due to some differences in opinion. And guess what, after a long time, I had such a wonderful time. The long chats, the fun and frolic, the comments, the fun punches... Man, I never realized what I had missed. I always tend to run away from confrontations. When I make a mistake & I realize I have hurt a loved one, I prefer staying away from them so as to not hurt them anymore than try and confront the situation head-on. Maybe I lose a lot out in this process of not hurting; I end up damaging much more than emotions....
So here's a new day, with a new change!! Cheers!
Friday, July 24, 2009
Get Real People!!!
It is funny to find people living in an artificial world where one's own perception lies deep in a bin and all that matters is the world's perception about you. I am sorry folks, but life isn't a "Truman Show".. I refuse to live my life according to someone else's policies, I have the strength and the guts to say "No". It is rather weird that we end up agreeing to someone else's opinions just to keep them happy. Kill our mind and do things that someone else wants us to do, accept a life full of despair coz someone somewhere will smile, but ultimately whom are we bluffing? The person who is temporarily happy that you accepted their whims, but will be hell shocked when realises the truth, or you who in the eternal quest to become the sacrificial hero, let go of the fundamental parameter that defines life "Happiness". You need not be self centred, but being practical, isn't necessarily being selfish.
Keeping others before you when you take a decision is selflessness, but to create a mess out of everyone's life, just to satisfy someone's whims is absolute freaky behaviour. I always believe in constructively discussing a problem situation out. Two mature and rational humans can always solve their difference of opinions by talking it out. There can be no problem which does not have a solution. Sacrificing and then ending up self sympathizing is not a solution, it is just a foundation to a whole new world of problems. I am a "Raat gayi, baat gayi" believer. I prefer ending a problem with a solution which is discussed about, then carrying its emotional baggage all through my life.
Keeping others before you when you take a decision is selflessness, but to create a mess out of everyone's life, just to satisfy someone's whims is absolute freaky behaviour. I always believe in constructively discussing a problem situation out. Two mature and rational humans can always solve their difference of opinions by talking it out. There can be no problem which does not have a solution. Sacrificing and then ending up self sympathizing is not a solution, it is just a foundation to a whole new world of problems. I am a "Raat gayi, baat gayi" believer. I prefer ending a problem with a solution which is discussed about, then carrying its emotional baggage all through my life.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A voyage undescribable!!
Travelling has always been a favourite past time of mine!! Discovering the unknown and doing something that you can never dream of, excites me more than anything. One such itch, led me to this Dindi yatra.
Although the goal of this journey was spiritual, the experience was divine in its own way. Dindi is a piligrimage undertaken by Maharashtrian warkaris, from Alandi and Dehu road, carrying the Padukas or sandals of the great marathi saints, Jnyandev and Tukaram to Pandharpur, the abode of Lord Vitthala. This piligrimage is done on foot, by thousands of devotees in the month of Ashadha, when the gates of heaven are considered open. The piligrims, reach, Pandharpur on Ashadhi Ekadeshi, where they take darshan of their Lord and thus fulfill, their desires. Being a mumbaichi mulgi, I have always been enchanted by the devotion and determination of these warkaris, and when I got a chance to be one amongst them, I jumped with glee..
Around 850, sai devotees from Maharashtra, walked from dharmavaram (in Andhra Pradesh) to Puttaparthy, the abode of Sri sathya sai baba. I was lucky to be one of the volunteers, taking care of these people while walking this distance of close to 40 Km. Although compared to the pandharpur dindi, which takes about 15 days to reach, we reached in a mere 2.5 days.. But the experience was beyond description.
Maximum crowd for the dindi came from rural maharashtra, from remote villages of Chandrapur, Parbhani, Wardha and also from cities like Nasik, kolhapur & Jalgaon. Being the youngest lady volunteer, I got a lot of chance to interact with these people, to know about their likes and dislikes. It is truly said that India lives in villages. To know the real Indian culture, one needs to visit and spend time in the hamlets of India. I always knew about virtues like humility and forgiveness in a very abstract manner... But I understood the real meaning of these virtues when I got a chance to mix amongst these people. Purity of heart is resplendent in every act of these people. We had women over the age of 60's walking as if there was no tomorrow. Singing the devotional folk songs about Lord Vitthoba and dancing in His glory, they made every minute of this endeavour rejoice able. we used to walk in the hot afternoons, and "Miss Fussy Unlimited" as my family knows me, when I saw the simplicity of these people, I didn't care about any of my logics.. Gone were my sun screen lotions in the depths of my bag, our legs ached, our bodies were sore, yet we ate only after confirming that every villager was fed to his heart's content. I never knew that I could manage to clean after walking for 16 Km, wait till 800 people ate, served them and then have food. It was as if all of us were rediscovering ourselves.
On one particular occasion, after walking a distance of 16 Km, we reached a hamlet, not far from our destination. The food arrived very late that night, we were all extremely exhausted, all the children, old women everyone was very hungry. But not a sound of cribbing anywhere... When we apologised to them, about the delay in the food a very old lady, with a smiling face said, "Vitthal has called us and he is the giver", you and I are mere instruments in his divine hands.
With tears in my eyes I served the lady food. She had said the summary of all our Vedas and Upanishads, in one line, that God alone is the doer and He alone is the bestower. She didn't have knowledge about Bhagvad Gita, about the chakras, about the shakti, yet her simple faith on her Vitthala spoke volumes about her heart's beauty.
These uneducated women understand the Lord and his ways, more than us, we who consider ourselves, so educated and scholastic. That night as I slept I muttered a silent prayer of gratitude to the Lord for making me understand the beauty of his creation.
At the end of the trip, I learnt to value everything in life... Good, bad, joy, sorrow, everything is a gift from the Lord. Only when we have the serenity and humility to accept everything as a gift from him, do we actually finish our pilgrimage from the Jivatma to the Paramatma....
I returned home, tanned, tired and wiser!!
Although the goal of this journey was spiritual, the experience was divine in its own way. Dindi is a piligrimage undertaken by Maharashtrian warkaris, from Alandi and Dehu road, carrying the Padukas or sandals of the great marathi saints, Jnyandev and Tukaram to Pandharpur, the abode of Lord Vitthala. This piligrimage is done on foot, by thousands of devotees in the month of Ashadha, when the gates of heaven are considered open. The piligrims, reach, Pandharpur on Ashadhi Ekadeshi, where they take darshan of their Lord and thus fulfill, their desires. Being a mumbaichi mulgi, I have always been enchanted by the devotion and determination of these warkaris, and when I got a chance to be one amongst them, I jumped with glee..
Around 850, sai devotees from Maharashtra, walked from dharmavaram (in Andhra Pradesh) to Puttaparthy, the abode of Sri sathya sai baba. I was lucky to be one of the volunteers, taking care of these people while walking this distance of close to 40 Km. Although compared to the pandharpur dindi, which takes about 15 days to reach, we reached in a mere 2.5 days.. But the experience was beyond description.
Maximum crowd for the dindi came from rural maharashtra, from remote villages of Chandrapur, Parbhani, Wardha and also from cities like Nasik, kolhapur & Jalgaon. Being the youngest lady volunteer, I got a lot of chance to interact with these people, to know about their likes and dislikes. It is truly said that India lives in villages. To know the real Indian culture, one needs to visit and spend time in the hamlets of India. I always knew about virtues like humility and forgiveness in a very abstract manner... But I understood the real meaning of these virtues when I got a chance to mix amongst these people. Purity of heart is resplendent in every act of these people. We had women over the age of 60's walking as if there was no tomorrow. Singing the devotional folk songs about Lord Vitthoba and dancing in His glory, they made every minute of this endeavour rejoice able. we used to walk in the hot afternoons, and "Miss Fussy Unlimited" as my family knows me, when I saw the simplicity of these people, I didn't care about any of my logics.. Gone were my sun screen lotions in the depths of my bag, our legs ached, our bodies were sore, yet we ate only after confirming that every villager was fed to his heart's content. I never knew that I could manage to clean after walking for 16 Km, wait till 800 people ate, served them and then have food. It was as if all of us were rediscovering ourselves.
On one particular occasion, after walking a distance of 16 Km, we reached a hamlet, not far from our destination. The food arrived very late that night, we were all extremely exhausted, all the children, old women everyone was very hungry. But not a sound of cribbing anywhere... When we apologised to them, about the delay in the food a very old lady, with a smiling face said, "Vitthal has called us and he is the giver", you and I are mere instruments in his divine hands.
With tears in my eyes I served the lady food. She had said the summary of all our Vedas and Upanishads, in one line, that God alone is the doer and He alone is the bestower. She didn't have knowledge about Bhagvad Gita, about the chakras, about the shakti, yet her simple faith on her Vitthala spoke volumes about her heart's beauty.
These uneducated women understand the Lord and his ways, more than us, we who consider ourselves, so educated and scholastic. That night as I slept I muttered a silent prayer of gratitude to the Lord for making me understand the beauty of his creation.
At the end of the trip, I learnt to value everything in life... Good, bad, joy, sorrow, everything is a gift from the Lord. Only when we have the serenity and humility to accept everything as a gift from him, do we actually finish our pilgrimage from the Jivatma to the Paramatma....
I returned home, tanned, tired and wiser!!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)