I have been totally restless today. I earlier thought, maybe its just a bout of excitement, but later realised, excitement would lead in some direction, I would need a spark, but nah, m just restless. This has started happening often to me these days. I am unable to concentrate and take a slow and steady move. The tsunami of emotions in my heart is just so overwhelming, that dissecting it into a certain genre is proving to be a mammoth task. So I set upon doing the one thing that slows me and sends me back to the raging reality of life, that is, blogging! My mind today, just doesnt want to slow down. I realised this early in the morning when I sat in front of my altar to say good morning , to my lord, and loh behold, I was streaming through a live video of thoughts. From a friend's anguish to argentina's football game, everything flashed. It felt like one of those tests, from Engineering, where u are shown a string of photos and asked to write an essay... :P
Human mind is the most mysterious creation of the lord, it is fast,it is crazy, and it is utterly unpredictable. There is just no chance, one would be able to decipher, what the next move would be. Sometimes, I feel m scared to be alone, coz of my train of thoughts. The mere speed scares me. I wanna slow down , mellow down and say, enough! Stop thinking for a while. I want to close my eyes and stare at a blank screen!!! My doc says, m over charged at the moment and need to take a vacation, at that moment, all I could remember was "makemytrip.com"... sad, but thats the way it is...
My brain starts playing songs when I am in the conference room, I cannot signoff from office while at home, and start feeling guilty, about my indifference at home in the office...This is getting all very hyper and serious now. I really want to signoff at all instances and take some time off... But dunno from what... Is it work, is it home, is it people, or is it just plain good old me!! A question that I need to answer for myself...
All this scared me, when i took up a book for reading, and i kept it back without being able to concentrate. This is possibly the worst experience for a book worm. To be away from books!!! Huh!! I feel so good, after penning my condition. Sometimes, I feel, nothing is more closer to me, than the alphabet series of English.. I cannot speak about my issues, as well pen them down, and get relaxed!!! :)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Till we meet again - Part 2
Man, I guess am obsessed with the topic of goodbye.... Here's one more....
The journey of life is just so beautifully chalked by the almighty. From the tiniest bacteria to the extremely developed, the planning is just so perfect. The environment in which we grow up, our future, our thought flow, the phases in life, the break downs, the pinnacles of success, everything is set. All we need to do, is strive to execute everything in the best possible manner.
In this journey, we meet several people, who walk with us for a certain distance and then comes the time, when our lanes start differing. The discrimination, that lanes change, but people don’t, is what is the essence of nurturing relationships. I have always been a relation cherisher person. I find very hard to make friends, I take a lot of time to trust people. But once in my close circle of friends, then till the end, I never let go. That is probably why I still am as good friends with my primary school friends as my new friends. I find it very hard, to close a chapter in life. As I said earlier, I don’t believe in good byes. Distances only reduces physical proximity, the pleasure of seeing ur friend, hearing their hearty laugh, the twinkle in their eyes, what it cannot do, is kill affection, trust and emotions. Friendship is a very beautiful bond, an invisible force, which binds hearts forever. A beautiful bond of trust, affection, love and faith.
I have been very lucky, that at each stage of life, I have been blessed with wonderful people around me. People who flinch in pain, when I cry, who will paint the town red, if I win. People who would argue in a conference room, to prove me right. Life doesn’t have to be fair all the time. It doesn’t have to give us all that we desire. The trick is to remain contented and happy with what we have and make the best out of it. As a famous line goes, “Life is like a cup of coffee, sweetened but not stirred”.
We may not see each other everyday, we may not talk to each other for months, but know for sure, that like shadows, we are always there in a subtle but sure manner.
Till we meet again…….
The journey of life is just so beautifully chalked by the almighty. From the tiniest bacteria to the extremely developed, the planning is just so perfect. The environment in which we grow up, our future, our thought flow, the phases in life, the break downs, the pinnacles of success, everything is set. All we need to do, is strive to execute everything in the best possible manner.
In this journey, we meet several people, who walk with us for a certain distance and then comes the time, when our lanes start differing. The discrimination, that lanes change, but people don’t, is what is the essence of nurturing relationships. I have always been a relation cherisher person. I find very hard to make friends, I take a lot of time to trust people. But once in my close circle of friends, then till the end, I never let go. That is probably why I still am as good friends with my primary school friends as my new friends. I find it very hard, to close a chapter in life. As I said earlier, I don’t believe in good byes. Distances only reduces physical proximity, the pleasure of seeing ur friend, hearing their hearty laugh, the twinkle in their eyes, what it cannot do, is kill affection, trust and emotions. Friendship is a very beautiful bond, an invisible force, which binds hearts forever. A beautiful bond of trust, affection, love and faith.
I have been very lucky, that at each stage of life, I have been blessed with wonderful people around me. People who flinch in pain, when I cry, who will paint the town red, if I win. People who would argue in a conference room, to prove me right. Life doesn’t have to be fair all the time. It doesn’t have to give us all that we desire. The trick is to remain contented and happy with what we have and make the best out of it. As a famous line goes, “Life is like a cup of coffee, sweetened but not stirred”.
We may not see each other everyday, we may not talk to each other for months, but know for sure, that like shadows, we are always there in a subtle but sure manner.
Till we meet again…….
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Phir Milenge
Cancerians, are a peculiar species in the human race. We never let people come near us, we are secretive, moody and suspicious. But when someone touches our heart, and passes through the grand gates and makes their place in our lives, we make sure that they never leave. By nature, we are crabby, we never let go of our friends. And when they do it tears us apart from inside.
I had sworn, that I will keep my work life away from my personal life. No friendships here, was my principle when I joined my new job. Experiences of the past had nevertheless, made me strong enough to be like this. After all, I had a pathetic time, leaving my previous work place. But nah, its me and if I make rules, they have to be broken, within a month of joining here, I had a frivolous gang, complete with fun, laughter and madness. With them, I never realized how time, passed by, it is 6 months now and life is still so fresh. We all looked forward to coming to work everyday, meet each other at breakfast, so that we could laugh away to glory. Laughing was like a religion here!!
But now time to part has come, time when we all disperse into new worlds. The most difficult moment, ever faced by a cancerian is to say “Good bye”.. And in all these years, I have never perfected this art. I can never say “Good bye”!! It is too difficult for me. I would rather not be there on their last day at work, than watch them walking out of that gate and waving at me. If life gives me a chance, then I would never let anyone walk away. If only I could turn the wheels of time again!!
Dear friend, if you are reading this, then all I want to say is you have changed my life in so many ways, and that I would never want us to part ever. But as they say, Time and Tide waits for none. So as you walk out of this door into a world of oppurtunities, know that, I would never wave good bye to you ever. I would just say “Till we meet again”!!!
I had sworn, that I will keep my work life away from my personal life. No friendships here, was my principle when I joined my new job. Experiences of the past had nevertheless, made me strong enough to be like this. After all, I had a pathetic time, leaving my previous work place. But nah, its me and if I make rules, they have to be broken, within a month of joining here, I had a frivolous gang, complete with fun, laughter and madness. With them, I never realized how time, passed by, it is 6 months now and life is still so fresh. We all looked forward to coming to work everyday, meet each other at breakfast, so that we could laugh away to glory. Laughing was like a religion here!!
But now time to part has come, time when we all disperse into new worlds. The most difficult moment, ever faced by a cancerian is to say “Good bye”.. And in all these years, I have never perfected this art. I can never say “Good bye”!! It is too difficult for me. I would rather not be there on their last day at work, than watch them walking out of that gate and waving at me. If life gives me a chance, then I would never let anyone walk away. If only I could turn the wheels of time again!!
Dear friend, if you are reading this, then all I want to say is you have changed my life in so many ways, and that I would never want us to part ever. But as they say, Time and Tide waits for none. So as you walk out of this door into a world of oppurtunities, know that, I would never wave good bye to you ever. I would just say “Till we meet again”!!!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
A pinch of innocence
Since childhood, every essay we wrote on India, had one line for sure, “India is a land of villages”. I often used to wonder what it would be like to live in a village, away from the concrete jungle, not worried about the 8:06 local, not bothered about the crowds, a world where Gucci and Reebok would sound as alien as Saturn’s rings. What is it, that these people possess, that keeps them happy even in a life of hardships. Life had a turn waiting for me, while I travelled from Pune to Solapur in a bus recently.
It was an extremely hot afternoon, and as the temperature soared higher, there was mercury rising in people’s hearts too, after all, because of a silly mistake of mine, we were travelling by a non-AC bus on a hot afternoon after missing a comfortable, posh AC train. :P After glaring at me for a long time, my friend slept off, and as I waited for my guilt pangs to surpass, I kept staring out of the window. We passed through several barren lands, withered away shrubs, in the extreme heat, nothing scenic to watch, but still better than the rattle on the TV being shown. I was just thinking about how the heat was affecting this part of the city, when I saw a beautiful banyan tree and children playing swing on its branches, there was a small stream of water flowing nearby, and even in the hot sun, I could feel its chilled gurgle. I smiled at the thought of playing with these kids, it was then that I remembered a line again from school , which I would never forget, “Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest”.
Life doesn’t stop smiling or gifting you with its treasures if a certain amount of leisure is stolen away and it is a lesson I learnt on a hot Monday afternoon! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a washing machine to wash your pile load, but you do get the pleasure of playing with your friends in the water as you wash. It doesn’t matter if you cant watch the latest movie on your television, as long as you get to spend evenings swinging and laughing with your friends. They don’t care about a dinner at a five star hotel, trying low calorie dessert, the meal which is shared with your loved ones, no matter how meagre, is the tastiest.
Life doesn’t stop with hardships, if it steals a handful of happiness then it returns the same amount in another form, I was jealous of those villagers. Even in their life of hardships, their smile was genuine, the happiness in their laugh was evident, and when they hugged their loved ones, it was genuine. We have grudges in our hearts, envy in our relationships and trust is a emotion unknown!!
If only we had more time to analyse life and sort it in a simpler way, if only in our recipe of life, there was a pinch of innocence!!
It was an extremely hot afternoon, and as the temperature soared higher, there was mercury rising in people’s hearts too, after all, because of a silly mistake of mine, we were travelling by a non-AC bus on a hot afternoon after missing a comfortable, posh AC train. :P After glaring at me for a long time, my friend slept off, and as I waited for my guilt pangs to surpass, I kept staring out of the window. We passed through several barren lands, withered away shrubs, in the extreme heat, nothing scenic to watch, but still better than the rattle on the TV being shown. I was just thinking about how the heat was affecting this part of the city, when I saw a beautiful banyan tree and children playing swing on its branches, there was a small stream of water flowing nearby, and even in the hot sun, I could feel its chilled gurgle. I smiled at the thought of playing with these kids, it was then that I remembered a line again from school , which I would never forget, “Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest”.
Life doesn’t stop smiling or gifting you with its treasures if a certain amount of leisure is stolen away and it is a lesson I learnt on a hot Monday afternoon! It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a washing machine to wash your pile load, but you do get the pleasure of playing with your friends in the water as you wash. It doesn’t matter if you cant watch the latest movie on your television, as long as you get to spend evenings swinging and laughing with your friends. They don’t care about a dinner at a five star hotel, trying low calorie dessert, the meal which is shared with your loved ones, no matter how meagre, is the tastiest.
Life doesn’t stop with hardships, if it steals a handful of happiness then it returns the same amount in another form, I was jealous of those villagers. Even in their life of hardships, their smile was genuine, the happiness in their laugh was evident, and when they hugged their loved ones, it was genuine. We have grudges in our hearts, envy in our relationships and trust is a emotion unknown!!
If only we had more time to analyse life and sort it in a simpler way, if only in our recipe of life, there was a pinch of innocence!!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Blinding Joy
Love struck me once, and I went blind
They say it hits hard, when it does, the earth beneath your feet slips away,
I had grown up listening to this, I would dream of the moment,
When love would come and blast my way,
Years I had waited for my true love to come,
A moment I waited to rejoice and bloom,
And then it came, like the sun setting down the ocean,
As if the entire waters, were covered with a golden potion,
He was smart, yet different, than the others of his kind,
He came, he conquered and won away my mind,
I blushed when I saw him for the first time,
Prayed away “Oh Lord! Please let him be mine”
And the Lord smiled and said “My child”
May not thy, love blow away like the wind; behold,
But blind I was and wanted to turn deaf,
In the colour of my new love wanted to say “Lord you are rough”
He made me dance, to the breezy winds,
Spread my colour and my fragrance around,
All at once, he left one day,
With a promise to come back, just like a fay
Days passed away like years,
Seasons changed then changed near and dears,
I had lost my heart to him,
Now there was absolutely no whim,
Life was just a menace, awaiting death furlong,
I held my loved ones and bid goodbye, so long,
He took away not just my nectar but my essence of life,
Oh, all I wanted to be was his dearest wife!!
Then I heard the voice, to whom I turned deaf,
He came and comforted said now now, don’t be so tough,
You are but a flower who blooms so beautiful,
And he a bumbling bee, fickle and temptous,
Life is agame of nectar and poison,
Have a balance, don’t try and find the reason
I am with you my child as you fade away,
But don’t let your love so easily blown away.
As I lay down and closed my eyes,
The sun bowed down and soothing as ice,
Tears trickled down, my eyes,
Alas! I could have still been wise!
They say it hits hard, when it does, the earth beneath your feet slips away,
I had grown up listening to this, I would dream of the moment,
When love would come and blast my way,
Years I had waited for my true love to come,
A moment I waited to rejoice and bloom,
And then it came, like the sun setting down the ocean,
As if the entire waters, were covered with a golden potion,
He was smart, yet different, than the others of his kind,
He came, he conquered and won away my mind,
I blushed when I saw him for the first time,
Prayed away “Oh Lord! Please let him be mine”
And the Lord smiled and said “My child”
May not thy, love blow away like the wind; behold,
But blind I was and wanted to turn deaf,
In the colour of my new love wanted to say “Lord you are rough”
He made me dance, to the breezy winds,
Spread my colour and my fragrance around,
All at once, he left one day,
With a promise to come back, just like a fay
Days passed away like years,
Seasons changed then changed near and dears,
I had lost my heart to him,
Now there was absolutely no whim,
Life was just a menace, awaiting death furlong,
I held my loved ones and bid goodbye, so long,
He took away not just my nectar but my essence of life,
Oh, all I wanted to be was his dearest wife!!
Then I heard the voice, to whom I turned deaf,
He came and comforted said now now, don’t be so tough,
You are but a flower who blooms so beautiful,
And he a bumbling bee, fickle and temptous,
Life is agame of nectar and poison,
Have a balance, don’t try and find the reason
I am with you my child as you fade away,
But don’t let your love so easily blown away.
As I lay down and closed my eyes,
The sun bowed down and soothing as ice,
Tears trickled down, my eyes,
Alas! I could have still been wise!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Alt+F4
This is the longest tenure of my life, where I haven’t penned anything so long, have just read 4 books in 6 months! Sigh! Life and its compulsions, kills all chances of leading a normal human life.
These 6 months and the past 2 days have taught me quite a good lesson, that life once on a acceleration mode, doesn’t take a back seat ever. In this race to live, we end up losing a lot than just a good mileage power!!
These 6 months, owing to work pressure I completely convinced myself that, hobbies and passions do not necessarily relax a person, it is just a technique of keeping your mind occupied or to put it in Bollywood ishtyle “All izz well”. But now as the weariness and tiredness sets in, a huge lethargic wave seems to be groping my mind. I can’t think & talk of anything but work. With this rate, I would soon replace the system I work on.. :)
My friends have a hand in this transition from machine to human, after all, they were the ones who pushed me hard to write something and keep penning my thoughts. While I say that, a huge thanks to my darling cousin, who introduced me to this wonderful world of blogging. A push in the right direction, sometimes sets us back on the right track, and I am lucky, I have had a lot of people to show me the right path so many times.
When I hang on to something, it is hard for me to unhook myself and let my thoughts flow in a different direction, and now that I know the side effects, it is about time to reprogram a few prejudices.. So while I take a whiff of my new found freedom and take a long breath in fresh air, may the PC back at my desk, finally sigh a relief “Hush! Alt+F4 at last” :):)
These 6 months and the past 2 days have taught me quite a good lesson, that life once on a acceleration mode, doesn’t take a back seat ever. In this race to live, we end up losing a lot than just a good mileage power!!
These 6 months, owing to work pressure I completely convinced myself that, hobbies and passions do not necessarily relax a person, it is just a technique of keeping your mind occupied or to put it in Bollywood ishtyle “All izz well”. But now as the weariness and tiredness sets in, a huge lethargic wave seems to be groping my mind. I can’t think & talk of anything but work. With this rate, I would soon replace the system I work on.. :)
My friends have a hand in this transition from machine to human, after all, they were the ones who pushed me hard to write something and keep penning my thoughts. While I say that, a huge thanks to my darling cousin, who introduced me to this wonderful world of blogging. A push in the right direction, sometimes sets us back on the right track, and I am lucky, I have had a lot of people to show me the right path so many times.
When I hang on to something, it is hard for me to unhook myself and let my thoughts flow in a different direction, and now that I know the side effects, it is about time to reprogram a few prejudices.. So while I take a whiff of my new found freedom and take a long breath in fresh air, may the PC back at my desk, finally sigh a relief “Hush! Alt+F4 at last” :):)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
To be or not to be
I m hitting the blog scene after such a long time, feels like coming home after a long tour!! I was just looking at some of my old college albums last week & it felt as another life.... I was a strong advocate of the fact, that changes in life do not distance one's loved ones.. But somehow, changes in mine, came like a tornado and swept me off my feet (in a good way ofcourse)! Sometimes, we walk so fast in life, that we forget the people around us and when we look back, they are there waiting at the same place for us. It is we, who in our quest to go ahead, forget to look around. I am "old school of thoughts" girl!! For me, changes are very difficult to adapt. From my bed linen to my office circle, familiarity is my key word. I feel very uncomfortable trying new things. It takes a lot of self persuasion to even try reading a book of an unknown author. I like to live in a shell, my own comfortable, warm and familiar cocoon. And that is one of the reasons, that changes in my life unnerved me a lot.
Yesterday, finally I took a step to bring in the flavor of my old life in this changed haven. I met my friends from college, people from whom I walked away due to some differences in opinion. And guess what, after a long time, I had such a wonderful time. The long chats, the fun and frolic, the comments, the fun punches... Man, I never realized what I had missed. I always tend to run away from confrontations. When I make a mistake & I realize I have hurt a loved one, I prefer staying away from them so as to not hurt them anymore than try and confront the situation head-on. Maybe I lose a lot out in this process of not hurting; I end up damaging much more than emotions....
So here's a new day, with a new change!! Cheers!
Yesterday, finally I took a step to bring in the flavor of my old life in this changed haven. I met my friends from college, people from whom I walked away due to some differences in opinion. And guess what, after a long time, I had such a wonderful time. The long chats, the fun and frolic, the comments, the fun punches... Man, I never realized what I had missed. I always tend to run away from confrontations. When I make a mistake & I realize I have hurt a loved one, I prefer staying away from them so as to not hurt them anymore than try and confront the situation head-on. Maybe I lose a lot out in this process of not hurting; I end up damaging much more than emotions....
So here's a new day, with a new change!! Cheers!
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