Book Lovers' club

A friend of mine, started this whole book pool club at work,what started with a modest figure of 30 books, is now doubled, and the enthusiasm in people is just soaring like mercury. Today, we got into a relatively marginal conversation, on favourite books, and all of a sudden, it was like a huge whirlpool, grasping us in its arms.. The conversation, started off with the current books in our basket, and we ended up with childhood, sibling fights for books. It was fun to see the sparkle in people's eyes, when they talk of something, they are so passionate about. Your passion, engulfs you into this beautiful world, where everything you see and perceive is the definition of your dream life. We were laughing away, as to how, we even tend to forget our spouses, when we enter our book life. What is it, about this passion, which makes you forget your world, and enter into realms of mystery. To me, reading books are more than just a passion. It is a way of life, and to not read, or not blog is like heart attack. The big smile, when we see a discount offer, in Landmark or Crossword, the sparkle in our eyes, when we hear someone discuss a book, we have read makes us feel, that there is so much in us yet to be discovered. There is so much mystery, surrounding our own lives, that in this whirlpool, we actually try to find our own identity. I atleast have a habit of trying to relate to every character of my book in some way. Makes me feel a part of the journey I am reading.

It is very true, that books are the only company who would never betray you. They would impart wisdom and seldom do they distract you from your path. But to those of my friends, who keep on teasing me, to be a bookworm, well, I am proud of being one and I am sure, my lovely book lover friends, would agree too!! So happy reading! :D

A silent Transformation

It is often found that people who achieve even an iota bit in their lives, blare up every single loudspeaker possible with their achievement list. They make sure, that every living soul, they know, is rote with their achievement. Potray themselves to be the future of the mankind, the hope of this galaxy. But somewhere, there are people, who work toil day in and day out. Who leave behind their ambitions, to create a way ahead for the less privileged. To whom, a package of a couple of lakhs is greek and latin, however, what they need an assurance of is a chance to work in the remotest hamlets of India. To them buying a Mercedes is not even on their wish list but are very happy, when they can get a farmer to avail a loan to buy a tractor. I have often heard people say that the world is very selfish, very self-centered. But somewhere near us, in our daily walks of life, there are people, who with a smile on their face, wipe the tears from another’s eyes. People name them social workers, NGO guys, and so on. However, to me they represent the face of India. They are whom we must rightly call Indians. India has always been hailed as a land of peace, of spirituality, of reforms of happiness. And these people bring about this transformation in the lives of crores, who remain unspoken off.. Their problems are generalised as issues of an economically backward India, however these are the problems, which need to top our reforms list. Our lives are so busy worrying about the next appraisal cycle, and how much hike the guys sitting next to has bagged, to onsite plans. We plan taxes, we buy homes, we buy jazzy cars, eat at Dominoes, oh and not to forget try new cuisines, hit the gym, but don’t we have any responsibility towards our country. To our society, the ones who taught us how to live life, the ones who taught us the virtue of equanimity.
My experience of being with the villagers, is I think the best memory of my lifetime. Till date, when I encounter any issue, I remember the words of an elderly lady in the village, I taught. She said “vitthal is the giver, and he is the taker, the thorns in our life are nothing but the stem to reach the Rose”. Such clear and optimistic thinking from an Adivasi lady!! We speak of education, this is the truest essence of all books. The mere essence of vedas, and all the spiritual books across the world. Their smiles are true glimpses of innocence and beauty. I never leave an opportunity ever to visit a village, coz although the excuse is of I teaching them, in the truest sense, I am just an earnest student. Every action and every word of theirs, are my lessons. I am but a mere onlooker at the beauty of God’s beautiful creation.

Matters of the heart

“I never ever will speak to you again”!! All my closest friends, family everyone has heard this line atleast a thousand times from me.. But within 2 or 3 hours, I am back to my chirpy self, as if nothing ever happened. That’s me…. I am not a very short tempered person, I have my share of irritations, but nothing that leads to a fight. Actually being phobic to shouting, I rather become very silent when angry. End up listening to music, read a book or write a blog… ;)
But there have been quite some times when I swear to myself, that this time, X Person has crossed their limits and there is no way, I am gonna accept them without an apology and a sound lesson. But then after a while, there is this whole, barrage of questions that is thrown at me (by my dear old conscience) starting from, is this right, am I being fair to do you think, they would be hurt!! Then I start remembering the good times, I had with them… The fun times, the laughter times…. And then starts the cross questioning…. Whether all this silence is worth, the times we spent together.. Whether it is a balance… This weighing, finally leads to a conclusion that “All’s well that ends well”!! There goes my anger down the drain!! I don’t remember holding a fight for more than half a day! Hmmm!! Hard!
This I think of actually as a strength… I don’t want to lose the people I love to such tiny fights, I don’t want a scratch in my heart, because of a couple of heated words… What I would rather have is, someday down the line, when our vision gets blurred, we have silver hair and life would seem like an autumn time, I would not like to regret, having not saved a relation!!

Micchami Dukkadam

Micchami Dukkadam, a term, which when said with folded hands, and a sincere faith in heart can move even the mountains. It is the earnest effort to pay for our sins, right here, to keep the big fat burden of ego aside and to reach every individual known and ask for forgiveness for deeds, knowingly or unknowingly done. The deed of forgiveness, crossess all the noblest and virtuest of deeds. In the very famous Shakespearen play "The Merchant of Venice", Portia says that blessed are the ones who forgive and because of th nobility of their deed, blessed also are the ones who are forgiven.

In our fast & frenzied life, we completely overlook the emotional factor, between our 9-9 jobs, there is no time, to take a note of such trivial things. And in this process, we do not realise the big and strong wall of hatred that we build in our hearts. Gone are the days, when a simple flower and a tiny sorry, could heal hearts. Now there is no effort, and people dont care anymore..

So to all my friends, family and loved ones, if I have ever hurt you, knowingly or unknowingly, crushed your emotion for my selfish needs, overlooked your smile for my own! "Micchami Dukkadam"...

Drawing the Line

It is somehow so important to know your boundaries right. To know, when to say, stop right here!! It is just so important to realise that there is a circle beyond which it is just you and your conscience, no one can tread that space.. Its private beyond the definition of the word.. And when people start encroaching those areas, that when relationships start to sour. Thats when insecurity, jealousy, possesiveness starts spreading their hoods. Its hard, to be helpless, to see someone you love go through agonised times, but the key is to remember that you cant suffer their pain for them. You may feel the pain, understand it, sympathise, but cant take their place. Each man has his own struggle to be the fittest, and am a strong believer of the fact, that for every door closed, a door to happiness opens somewhere else. It is foolish to cry over the closed door, yet the path to reach the new door, may have its own share of turbulences. It is easy to get washed away in these turbulent and unruly waves. But life teaches each man, their own lessons. To make mistakes are good, but to learn from one's own mistakes are the best. Let people face their problems, be the tree which gives shadow, on a hot sunny day, to a traveller. Dont try to cloud the sun, its a part of someone's destiny!!

The Big Fight

There is always this scene in hindi movies where the alter ego, a mirror image comes and fights with the actor talking about the pros and cons of a situation.. Setting the characted on the right path. Today I was in a similar situation. I hurt someone very close to me today. Someone whom i really care a lot about. This person is in a state already, due to some personal turmoil, I have always been supportive and understanding, ignoring all those minor tiffs and plausible arguments. But today I lost my cool. Today, the state of mind I was in, I expected my friend to walk across the rope to lend me a hand, very well ,knowing that it wasnt even fair to do so.

I am now feeling so guilty, that I cant even sleep. I apologised and was instantly forgiven. But a sinned heart, knows its wound. I always felt, the worst punishment ever is guilt. A guilty heart makes a person repent so much, that it is as if suffering through one's mistake every single second. Right now, somewhere my friend, must be peacefully asleep, yet here I am penning down my thoughts, a last respite to over come a grave mistake.The person I hurt is someone who means a lot to me, who has stood by me, in the tiniest of situations... Gosh!! How could I do this. I am known to be a very patient person ,a typical think before u talk, but my anguish broke its dam and burnt away all traces of understanding, love and friendship! But now as the lava of guilt is settling, all i can see is the greyness of my friend's beautiful heart...

M sorry!! I really am.... :(

Growing up wid life...

I was a very timid and shy person in my childhood.. Would think hundred times, even before asking a glass of water... And staying in a joint family, just aggrevated my shyness.. I was closest to my naani... I used to ask her, what does growing up mean.. And she used to say, it means, accepting what life throws at your path, and being ready to face anything with a smile.. When I would ask her, how to get ready for obstacles and difficulties, she would simply smile and say, life is such a beautiful teacher, it will help you come out and face any situation you land up in. The trick is to, be aware of its teachings... Whenever I would get depressed, my naani's words were my boat of solace. Her wisdom, was my courage.. And now is when I actually understood her advise... Santosh fell sick terribly, and I had to admit him.. I was all alone, didnt know what to do.. I went alone to the doctor, and the ground beneath me slipped away when she said that I had to admit him... I am totally phobic to hospitals.. Never even visited people when they got admitted... And here I had to do a very difficult job. I called up a friend of mine, in panic, and he said, just keep calm, train your mind, you are strong, close your eyes and think about this man you love.. And thats it, there went all my fears flying away, I went home, packed his stuff... Admitted him... It was simple.. Even when he left for Mumbai to take rest, everyone in my family knew, that staying alone was like a punishment to me.. But i insisted on staying alone, so I get to know my ownself.. After all, every one claimed to know me, from my husband, to my family, to my best friends.. But I didnt know myself.. After this three week ordeal, I really can claim to be best friends with my self... life did throw answers at me, and I caught them...

Life does decide to teach u, nudge you and say "Kid! Grow up!! :)