There is always this scene in hindi movies where the alter ego, a mirror image comes and fights with the actor talking about the pros and cons of a situation.. Setting the characted on the right path. Today I was in a similar situation. I hurt someone very close to me today. Someone whom i really care a lot about. This person is in a state already, due to some personal turmoil, I have always been supportive and understanding, ignoring all those minor tiffs and plausible arguments. But today I lost my cool. Today, the state of mind I was in, I expected my friend to walk across the rope to lend me a hand, very well ,knowing that it wasnt even fair to do so.
I am now feeling so guilty, that I cant even sleep. I apologised and was instantly forgiven. But a sinned heart, knows its wound. I always felt, the worst punishment ever is guilt. A guilty heart makes a person repent so much, that it is as if suffering through one's mistake every single second. Right now, somewhere my friend, must be peacefully asleep, yet here I am penning down my thoughts, a last respite to over come a grave mistake.The person I hurt is someone who means a lot to me, who has stood by me, in the tiniest of situations... Gosh!! How could I do this. I am known to be a very patient person ,a typical think before u talk, but my anguish broke its dam and burnt away all traces of understanding, love and friendship! But now as the lava of guilt is settling, all i can see is the greyness of my friend's beautiful heart...
M sorry!! I really am.... :(
2 comments:
awww, i know what you must be going through. it's tough. but knowing that we've erred and feeling geniunely sorry for our actions is the best we can do. knowing your friend's forgiven you will bring you even closer to them and maybe the most soothing reminder from it is to pay it forward at every possible opportunity. it's okay dear, it's life and we're all learning.
you need to update your favorites to point to my "new" blog :)
hope the contents of this post are well behind you and you guys've made your peace...
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